I’m back

I should probably make a point of checking in to assure everyone (particularly my parents) that I am not lying face down in a puddle of my own misery (there is little that is grosser than lying in your own misery, unless it’s lying in your own vomit, though more on that later). Here’s a post to catch you up.

1. I’m in the midst of planning a two-week artist’s residency at Artscape Gibraltar Point at the end of September. This idea was suggested by Jowita when we were standing outside Henri Fabergé’s Feint of Hart and I was talking about trying to get away this fall since my summer plans have been so completely fucked up (more on that later). She asked where I wanted to go, and I said I wasn’t sure, I’d thought about trying to resurrect my trip to New York, but part of me wanted to just go somewhere quiet where I could write, but it’s complicated because I have no way of knowing if I’ll need to be close to the hospital in September or not, everything depends on trials and appointments. She reminded me of the Island, and it really is the perfect solution because it gives me solitude and nature and I can still come back into Toronto for appointments. The only thing is that I can’t bring my dog.

2. Emily is going to do a residency at the same time, though maybe not as long. If you are going to do an artist’s residency, you need to have a project to work on. I am working on a book, that is, a book that is somehow about me. Emily says I have to tell people so that I will hold myself accountable. I’ve told a few people. Now I am telling many. Emily is my — I don’t know what to call her, my editor? my taskmaster? my Jiminy Cricket? — and my assignment for this week is to tell my therapist that I’m writing a book.

3. The trial. It has started. I’m still trying to figure out the best combination of anti-nausea drugs. It’s only been two weeks. I haven’t got it down yet. In fact, my stomach just lurched as I wrote that. The drug makes me uninterestingly tired. Unless you find it interesting that some days I sleep until 2:30 p.m. then go to bed at 9 p.m. That’s all I have to say about that for now.

4. I’ll be in B.C. from August 7th to 14th. I’ll be in Kelowna on the 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, and leaving on the 11th. Those dates are more for my parents than anyone I know living in Kelowna right now because the trip will pretty much be taken up with family. There’s just not enough time for social visits, I’m afraid. I’ll be in Vancouver on the evening of the 11th through to the morning of the 13th, though I’m pretty sure I’ve booked myself plans for the 11th and the 12th in the evening. I’m free all day on the 12th, though, and I could have breakfast with someone on the 13th if they could also drive me to Horseshoe Bay ferry terminal before 2 p.m. (hint: I need a ride to the ferry terminal on the 13th). I will probably Hotwire a hotel for those nights in Vancouver. I’ll be at Derek and Leanne’s wedding on the 13th and 14th, flying back to Toronto late at night on the 14th. So there’s my itinerary for those who need to know. Email me if you want to try to get together. There are so many people I want to see, and no way it will actually happen, but I am going to try my best.

5. I’m not as depressed as I was. Just so you know.

6. Moving! It’s happening soon. I am slowly getting things packed, by which I mean people are coming over and packing things for me. Did I mention how much I sleep? Yeah. My apartment looks like a hoarder was recently evicted and the junk team is still unearthing everything. When I spend time with people, I dreamily list all the things I’m looking forward to about moving into the new place with Beck, like having an herb box in the kitchen window, and a bigger work space, and a record player (right now, I am limited to playing music/radio only on the computer and did you know that will actually drive you mad?), and living closer to the lake. I always think of something else, even when I think I’ve exhausted the topic. Sorry to those of you who have to humour me with this.

7. I’ve been reading a lot. And of course, now that my books are packed up, I keep thinking of passages I want to look up or novels I want to quickly reread because they match a particular mood, but I can’t get to them. E. gave me the most compelling reason for buying a tablet the other night — you can read all the things you’re embarrassed to buy in person and you can read with the lights off. For the first time in my life, I actually felt a pining for a tablet.

I think that sums most everything up. Happy summer, everyone.



About Alicia Louise

I'm a writer, editor, fact checker, storyteller, events organizer, chronically busy yet endlessly lazy, mildly neurotic (though I keep the neuroses well-hidden, one hopes) 32-year-old with recurrent ovarian cancer. I like people and good writing and straight talk. I have a hard time feeling sorry for people, including myself, but the people that I love, I love passionately; one may even say creepily. I try to keep that mostly to myself. I'd like to be charming, but I'm usually just a mess. I'm like a gull slamming into your windshield.
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One Response to I’m back

  1. malawson says:

    Your embracing of life encourages and inspires us. Thank you. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Michael

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