Monthly Archives: July 2012

Like a balloon you let go of

That last treatment was hard. Emotionally and physically and mentally, in an I-don’t-have-many-memories-of-last-week way. If I hadn’t written about it, I couldn’t have told you what my oncologist said at my appointment. I barely remember seeing anyone on chemo day … Continue reading

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Blue

Peaks I’ve always claimed it bullshit when people say illness makes you better appreciate the beauty in each blade of grass. But it intensifies beauty. It makes your chest hurt and your shoulder blades feel like wings will split out … Continue reading

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Sweet sixteen

Sixteenth treatment today. It was completely sweet, and dreamy Jimmy kissed me almost on the lips and asked if I’d go to the drive-in with him. Actually, I just ate a lot to stave off the nausea and had weird … Continue reading

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Hazy summer days

Tiny tablet under the tip of the tongue. Everything has a heat shimmer. The whole world wavers. Today is another day of anxiety. I woke up at Adam’s house. I promised Emily and Peter I would push my bike home … Continue reading

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The break at the middle

I walked through the hospital doors and inside something snapped, some elastic pulled taut for too long and it went ping and then my face was wet because my tears weren’t staying in my eyes. And I walked through the … Continue reading

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Languishing

I’ve been lolling about the house in vintage underwear, stretching out on the bed or the couch to catch the breeze off one of the fans. I’m hungry but too listless to throw on a pair of shorts to go … Continue reading

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If you’re new…

And you want to fill yourself in a bit, here’s a brief overview of my story so far and here’s a link to my thoughts on the term ‘survivorship.’

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