I’m still here

I should probably update this more often so y’all don’t think I’m dead.

I’m not dead.

I’ve been biding my time, waiting to hear about the second opinion surgical appointment (not yet set, though I checked in with my oncologist’s assistant to try to move that along). I have my first CT scan since the one that indicated recurrence coming up in a couple of weeks and I see my oncologist for follow-up on November 15th. That’ll be an interesting visit. It’ll be the visit that tells us how fast this slow cancer is growing. I’m hoping for status quo. Hopefully the fistfuls of supplements and disgusting mega-doses of liquid vitamin d are doing what they’re supposed to.

Part of me (a big part, if I’m honest) doesn’t want to go to the oncologist, doesn’t want to go for the CT scan. Ignorance is bliss, and all that. But I can’t pretend like this isn’t happening, and it’s better in the long run to know what’s going on.

I’ve planned a trip to New York right after I go to the oncologist. It’s a good time to do it. A friend is debuting at the Met. It’s a reward for being a good cancer patient and not skipping out on my appointments. And depending on what the scan and blood test results show, and the second opinion from the surgeon at Sunnybrook, it might be the last time I can easily make plans to travel for a while. (That better not be the case, though, since I’m planning a trip to Mexico in January.)

That’s it for now. Next time I’ll tell you about how I’m boring and possibly horrifying my shrink (just a little).


About Alicia Louise

I'm a writer, editor, fact checker, storyteller, events organizer, chronically busy yet endlessly lazy, mildly neurotic (though I keep the neuroses well-hidden, one hopes) 32-year-old with recurrent ovarian cancer. I like people and good writing and straight talk. I have a hard time feeling sorry for people, including myself, but the people that I love, I love passionately; one may even say creepily. I try to keep that mostly to myself. I'd like to be charming, but I'm usually just a mess. I'm like a gull slamming into your windshield.
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2 Responses to I’m still here

  1. Aurelia says:

    I’m glad to hear about second opinions and supplements and lots of plans! And as someone who has horrified a shrink on more than one occasion, go for it babe. Makes their lives more exciting. 🙂

    P.S. I know of a D supplement that is less awful to take, if you want, email me

  2. hey there.

    tp (tina p.) refered me to your site. lol. tp…i wonder if she gets flack for having tp as her acronym. at least that will change when she gets married but then she will be tb. ha ha. can’t win.

    anyways, i was curious about what type of ovarian cancer you had at 23? was it epithelial ovarian cancer or considered a childhood cancer? i am also curious about your family history of any cancers? are there more cases of ovarian, or breast…melanoma, prostate, or pancreatic.

    if you can’t tell already, i am inquiring if there is a possible genetic link to your cancer and if you have been tested for a possible brca mutation. if you have a mutation, it would have an influence on your treatment.

    as for me, i am currently going through the genetic testing process. my family finds out our results in november, but that has not prevented me from already having a preventative double mastectomy due to some funky pre-cancerous changes i had already going on in my breasts.

    please feel free to email me at binary.speaking@gmail.com i also have a blog too: http://losingtheboobs.blogspot.com maybe t already shared it with you. i will soon be living in hamilton, ontario but am up north at the moment.

    nice to meet you!

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